(no subject)

[gala_apples]

In an hour I have to go to my first ever wedding shower. I feel SO AWKWARD about it. Like, I don't really consider myself trans. I don't hate my body, I'm just completely indifferent, and vaguely think that if I'd had a choice, 'woman' would not have won. However, I am strongly of the opinion that I do not belong at an all female party.

There will be wine. And tea. And something called 'dainties', which I actually had to google to figure out they're tiny fingernail sized bits of cookies or sandwiches. I drink 50% vodka straight, and the one time me and Jason had wine we downed the bottle in a half hour and then did some whiskey and scotch shots. I drink soda from steins. I just came from Vince's apartment, I had chicken fingers for breakfast for fucksakes, I am not a tiny cookie cutter shaped sandwich sort of person.

My cousin phoned to ask if I was going to wear a dress and makeup. Um. NO? I don't even own a dress. I haven't owned a dress since eighth grade. What the hell?

And then there's the matter of the company. Mother of god. I am not rich, I only know one language, and I don't have a professional dancing career. I am fat and short and I dye my hair colours that aren't blond.

I do not belong at a party like this. This isn't me. It's going to be horrible. I'm going to sit in the corner and drink ~wine~ out of a ~gold rimmed glass~ and ~listen to advice about marriage~ and think about porn. Fuck all ya all, relatives.

Comments

[dr-jasley.livejournal.com]

*hugs* *hums I will survive for you*

God I understand that. While I love my breasts, I don't really consider myself female.(Dad will grin and say I'd rather be a guy..and I don't know if that's true or not but I can understand that)

YOU ARE AWESOME and when you get back(if it's tonight) I should be around and you can be all >.< about it.

[katelinmr.livejournal.com]

Oh my God that is so exciting!!!! *hugs*

God everybody belongs there! It's so much fun *jumps up and down* And I can say that, I'm a total tomboy :D

But but but, it's going to be fun honey. You don't have to wear a dress or make up, just be your lovely self and have fun with people! It's not all high posh and fancy up there right? They're normal people as well.

*hugs* well anyway, I hope you're going to have fun, be positive, I'm sure it's nice to participate... I hope so, anyway..

[turps33.livejournal.com]

They may not be the people you're used to, but they're still people.

You'll get through this. Promise. ♥

[creepylicious.livejournal.com]

You know, you can make yourself belong. I learned that prejudices go both ways. You might not be what they are, but they aren't what you are used to either, still who says there isn't at least one person you can have a decent conversation with?
And if everything goes to hell you can just go and call a friend (I did that, spent hours outside talking to her until my dad was able to get me...oh yeah, fun times...)And after that you can mock on lj ;)
AND: you don't have to feel awkward: It's not your damn job to make other people happy, that's just a side-effect...

[sydneysconverse.livejournal.com]

Ooh!

I love wedding showers! And weddings (though, they bring out the worst in me; at my cousin's wedding five years ago, I kinda sorta "tackled" {not even, just kinda jostled her} my great-grandmother to get the bouquet. No one has been married since) and baby showers and all that jazz!

Also, don't worry. (we're still the same band...) If anything happens, you can write like, Ryan and Keltie getting married and Brendon, Keltie's man of honor, meeting Spencer, Ryan's best man, and then there is boysex in a closet.

That always helps me!

Love,
SydneyLynne

[gilkurtis.livejournal.com]

Wedding showers :/

I feel your pain.