(no subject)

so i was talking to my dad last night, and he revealed that he's felt lonely and self-loathing his whole life, and that when mom dies he'll probably kill himself. i told him that it's important to always keep trying, because you never know where you'll find great friends, and when you do, your life will become a joy.

then this morning vince called me. we'd been planning something for at least two weeks, but he decided he's bailing to spend time with his boyfriend. and then he asked me if i could take down the pictures of us that i had on facebook. then he told me he'd call me back. LIKE I WANT TO TALK TO HIM!

so i called jason, and jason's got plans with an old friend of his. and that's when i realised that when me and vince originally made plans, we totally left him and his interests out, so not only do i feel like shit because vince doesn't care about me, i feel guilty because we didn't care about jason. since i know he reads my blog, this is my indirect way of apologising to him for being a bad friend. if i tried on the phone, i'd probably start crying, and that's just awkward for everyone.

so the phone's off the hook, and i can retreat. this is why i will never get a cellphone, because then people can bother you.